Religious Message Appreciators Gifts

Keep Christ in Xmas.

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"God created Heaven and Earth in seven days but has failed us miserably with Brexit."

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

Finger puppets in church.

Church restrooms

Jesus and the Peeps

"He's always been an optimist."

"Nice sermon. Not too preachy."

Dogs in heaven with collar halos.

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"So Mr. Garvin asked, did we all have an understanding in writing? And I said, maybe we can talk about that."

'Oh, it wasn't glossolalia -- he just gets tongue-tied when he preaches about sex and marriage.'

"Sorry. I thought it was a typo."

"After last week's incident, I'd like to talk about one of the lesser-known Commandments - Thou Shalt Not Heckle."

Religious Speech

"But why would anyone, especially the meek, want to inherit the earth?"

Man at Heaven's gate with different college letter than St. Pete

"Jesus changed the water into wine and everyone drove home responsibly."

Two friars ringing bells

Mary and Joseph's Social Media Page

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"That isn't allowed either."

'Today's Sermon: Good Cholestrol Vs. Bad Cholestrol'

The End is Near.

"It's bad news Brother Thomas, he's decided to change the font"

'4th Sunday before Easter... and 5th before my holiday!'

"Because he didn't even change your name. That's how I know he was talking about you."