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'Thou shall not kill, comma...'

"I'm really excited about this opportunity, but I'm hoping there's room to negotiate the title? What about 'Rise-to-the-Occasion-Mary', or 'Cool-Under-Pressure-Mary'?"

Sisters of the sacred order of the massage table.

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

Jesus Shaves

The Pope and Contraception.

"Then I told Jonah, I'm a big fish not a whale, get your story straight."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"You call this a constitution?"

"OMG, LOL!"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Dogma

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Does the ark have wifi?"

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

A woman in prayer

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Om and Ommer

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Excommunicate Me.

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

Pope Kimba XXIII.