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"Oh no - It's another epistlegram."

'Look on the bright side, Noah - the rain's holding down the stench.'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Zane found a hymnal left behind from the traditional service, but he couldn't figure out how to power it up.

"I can't help it. It's all this water. I really gotta go!!!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"You call this a constitution?"

"OMG, LOL!"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Dogma

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

A woman in prayer

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

Om and Ommer

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"His name is Jonah. Are you sure you haven't seen him?"

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

Pope Kimba XXIII.