Religious Humor Appreciator Pillows

"It's bad news Brother Thomas, he's decided to change the font"

"That's just sick."

"Sorry. I thought it was a typo."

'Blood of Christ, make it a double.'

'If I'm born again, will I have two birthdays a year?'

Jesus checks in his cross at the cloakroom.

"But why would anyone, especially the meek, want to inherit the earth?"

"My preferred pronouns are thee, thou and thine."

'Which father is the father?'

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

Priest's boat in a bottle is Noah's Ark

Finger puppets in church.

"Malcolm believes we're all f****d."

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

Stop

"One order loaves and fishes. Would you like fries with that?"

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

Jesus and the Peeps

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"You call this a constitution?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Dogma

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Sermon Applause.

'Please take your receipt!'