Religious Content Binge-watcher Gifts

Religious man watching religious TV

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

Cord cutter

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"OMG, LOL!"

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"Press catch up, and find out what we just slept through."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'Y' know Derek, I really think you need to push yourself outside your comfort zone.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Working from Home.

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

3D

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"What ever happened with that old shack you bought in the woods? You were going to rehab and flip it."

'Universal remote, my eye!'

'Wh...What's that behind the...EEEIII!!

'Well I'm telling you we could have a perfectly fine holiday without it!'