Relaxing By The Sea Pillows

Sunblock, for insensitive skin.

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

'You'll see, it's great: When they come back from fishing, they clean the fish and throw us the heads, tails and guts...'

On holiday.

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

"I only need shade for my wine."

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Hollywood Breakup

"How's it look back there?"

"Just the slippers is fine!"

"Should we take pics of our feed for Instagram?"

"I'm not the only one who hates you changing the channel every second. Now when you want to watch TV, the remote escapes."

"This is what I call a home entertainment centre."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'I prefer to do absolutely nothing on holiday....otherwise the shock's too much when I get back.'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

'Anything good on the telly tonight? Yes dear the vase!'

Admiral in the bath.

Flotation Device on the Phone

The following story is based on actual events.

"Who's my perfect little excuse to leave social functions? You are, yes you are."

'You're so sophisticated and witty...and muscular...do you work out? Why, yes, I'd love to come back to your place.'

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

"What'll it be ... scary movies or scary news?"

"I moved to the coast to get away from the Inland Revenue..."

Another great new year's eve! We're not doing anything, Ames. That's what's so good about it. The Dixons asked us over for a Quaker new year. They pop the bottles at 9 p.m. I guess

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm off work. Let's catch some rays! You already have a great tan from your job! You don't need to go sunbathing. Oh, yes I do!

Surburban Joys - Haymaking.

"I'm getting bitten, and it's not by tall bond traders with accents."

L.A. Law