Relationship Rollercoaster Mugs

'I'm from the exterminators, here to kill moths...Those devils, it's worse than I thought.'

'I must be getting hard up...I just made a date with my ex-husband!'

"The date was going well. . . until he turned up."

Old and new tattoos

"My wife left me because of my compulsive gambling..."

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

"Tunnel of love"

Waterfall of Disappointment

Dating the efficiency expert.

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Joe's Bar: Happy Hour 5-9, Utter Despair 10-12.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"Don't panic, she'll be back. We lock the washroom windows from the outside."

"I had half a date last weekend."

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

"Oh no! You, again?"

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

Too Weird to Have a Husband

'And you must be Hank, my husband's new business partner!'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'I guess I shouldn't have expected too much. Martin was a floor model.'

Church Drive-Thru.

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"Are you trying to tell me something, dearest?"

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

Bipolar Bear.

"So when you said you were a bee keeper..."

'I'm sorry, Jerome. Instead of marriage and having kids, I've decided just to have myself cloned.'

'I'm mad as hell, but also very apathetic.'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'