Relationship Improviser Pillows

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Jazz is Invented

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Complaining cricket wives

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

Love chair

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

The Joy Of Txt...

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"Great session, you guys - nice to see you both smiling again."

"It's not what you think."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"Now give me something intimate to say."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

The Art of Bantering!

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

State of Work...State of Marriage