Relationship Healer Pillows

"The fact is, I miss your nitpicking."

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Relationship Warning Lights

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You've changed."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,