Relationship Healer Pillows

"The fact is, I miss your nitpicking."

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

Relationship Warning Lights

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You've changed."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"She just takes things too seriously in our relationship."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"I need him to stop think and start listening."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"