Relationship Comedian Mugs

The End is Near...You Wish.

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"Someone dropped me as a baby."

'Stop staring and make a wish!'

His and Hers Towels

"Know what we need? We need a house wine."

'I hold my husband responsible-he ducked!'

'I've just discovered how much we two have in common - including my boyfriend!'

"It's my ex. He wants to pay me a conjugal visit."

'I never said virgin I said vegan.'

'You knew I came with a set.'

'I'm saying I want to share your pain you selfish bastard.'

"I gave my wife a present for our anniversary and she gave me a black eye."

'And I thought I was leaving you.'

'I've just raised you to junk status.'

'Whose hair is that on your shoulder?'.

'Promise you'll never leave me , Guiseppe.'

'Sharing the petrol costs didn't bother me, but I resent having to pay half for the condoms!'

'I've got something here that'll spice up our sex life, darling.'

'But you can't break up with me! I just bought a domain name with both our names on it.'

'Look what followed me home, Dear - Can I keep her?'

"Can't we talk this over?"

"I've changed the locks and taken out a restraining order, so no, I won't be your valentine."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"He was a rescue."

"Would you like me to leave room for us to get back together?"

"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"It's almost twelve-thirty. Shouldn't you be heading home?"

"I felt the Earth Move!"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"But in the dream, ha ha, your family was normal, even that sociopath little brother of yours."

"Of course it's me! You were expecting maybe the Messiah?"

"If I didn't trust you I wouldn't be releasing you on your own recognizance."

"I lied to you about wanting children. I want ferrets."