Reindeer Fans Pillows

'C'mon in Rudolph, these ain't no reindeer games.'

"Looks like you're out of options, big man. Sure, I'll guide your sleigh tonight. Here's my price. Cash. And, by the way, we're leaving this out of the song."

Don't fly and text.

Time to get up, Santa!

'I think the eight reindeer just look tiny by COMPARISON.'

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

'I've got no problem with December, but what do I blog about the rest of the year?'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Reindeer

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

Santa's doner kebab - Santa, one of the reindeer has gone missing.

'I have no idea why he calls us those weird names...my name is Bob!'

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

"We've made a few changes."

'You've got the flying reindeer, elves, and a cheery laugh - have you ever considered being Santa?'

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

To the delight of the elves and other reindeer, Santa installs the clapper on Rudolph.'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle