Regulation Navigators T-Shirts

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

US v.s. Tech Giants

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

In/Out.

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

'The new regulations arrived earlier today.'

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"Our first target is to work out what our target is."

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

"Oh shut up."

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

'We're to spend more time engaging with patients on a more compassionate 'human' level...and here are the guidelines on how to do it!'

"No, this is the department for obfuscation, hindrance, confusion and prevarication...you want the department for sophistry, incomprehension, fudging and evasiveness!!"

'Can you get out and parallel park for me? I'm not good at it.'

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

'Yes, it is a stressful job.'

Your lips still say "No," but you started out with six exclamation points above your head and now you're down to one. !

IRS: I Survived the Audit.

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

"Dad, how often have I told you there's no point in trying to start an argument with the sat-nav?"

"We have all kinds of Regulatory Guidelines floating around."

Pick a direction.

"You're not allowed to plead 'no contest'."