Regulation Navigator Gifts

Desk Organizers: 'Comply with Government Regulations and Guidelines.'

Loophole Closed.

When you fight the system, expect the system to fight back!

"We need warning stickers on this side warning not to ignore all the other warning stickers on the other side."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"He was weak with the flu to start with and then the initial shock of the new tax code did him in."

"The Department of Justice says they'll allow the takeover, as long as we sell off everything we buy."

"The EPA is demanding that we come out with a new model that uses less energy."

'Do you remember when all we had to worry about was the menu?'

'Dammit - how do we get in on that gross national product?'

US v.s. Tech Giants

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

'I didn't write the book report. I downloaded and printed it directly from the Internet, but I did collate and staple it myself.'

"What are you going to do to make sure you reach this year's financial goals?"

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

"Procurement and their stakeholder journey down the procurement pathway... Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"International trade"

Made in China.

'You forgot the product label.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'They've dealyed our IPO so long that we've gone from intending to open a chain of pre-schools to opening a chain of nursing homes.'

"The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services. . . The good news is that we can now tell people in 23 languages what we don't do anymore!"

In/Out.

'The new regulations arrived earlier today.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

"I'm afraid the umbrella constitutes an enclosed space and must be taken down."

Business man must jump through hoops to impress his boss.

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

"Our first target is to work out what our target is."

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

People being buried under enormous falling tax credit forms.

"I'm sorry, but I don't make the rules around here. But I'd be happy to connect you with any number of people who think they do!"

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"