Regretful Rebel Gifts

"Never get a tattoo when you're drunk and hungry."

"I gotta be me!"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"I really got used to working from home."

Hipster Police Department

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

Workers' Rights

'What does he know about turning a profit? He wasn't even at Woodstock!'

"Look at these old clothes, Dylan! You know, tie-dye HAS made a comeback!"

Brain versus Religion.

'Hey man that's a gas!'

'I said you can't touch me - it's my religion.'

Everyone knew it was a hideous style, but nothing was ever said.

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

'Museum of Hippy Culture' 'No smoking the Exhibits'

Dirty Old Man

'Give me the most soft and gentle looking unicorn tattoo you've got!'

'Buy one, you get two free. . .'

"But this is the way we've always done it."

"I didn't smoke, drank in moderation, exercised, ate kale, and yet, here I am."

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

"I'd say, psychotic-obsessive -- but I happen to know he's a top-level economist."

Long tattoo on arm of man drinking coffee reads, "Born to go binge-drinking, get pierced and tattooed, then wake up the next day really annoyed at myself for being such an idiot!"

"Of course you can't DVR the surf. You brought the wrong remote."

It's an epic fight!! Will Captain Couch Potato reach Lady Beer Bottle and MME. Remote Control in time???

'I don't know what you're complaining about. I should charge you for breathing my second hand smoke. This happens to be a very expensive Cuban cigar!'

Very little fan fair.

'They'll be talking about that for years!'

"While we're at supper, Billy, you'd make Daddy and Mommy very happy if you'd remove your hat, your sunglasses, and your earring."

Ex-hippie-now-staunch-Republican Herb Miller's freak flag keeps on flying, much to his chagrin.