Regional Dialect Explorers Gifts

'The biggest adjustment to relocating on the west coast is calling people 'dude'.'

Campaign for Plain English

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Why we need poetry. . .

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'the selling of seashells by the seashore was sluggish.'

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

The Nanuit Have 2,027 Words For Snow, But, After Awhile, They Just Talk About Something Else...

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

"'Parent' should always be an action verb."

Scouse For Beginners

A Semicolon.

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

Apostrophe. . . Apostropher

"For today's lesson, you're going to teach me about pronouns."

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

Frenchman Speaking to Englishman

'The rozzer in the dorp had never seen a quod.'

"What does 'inexplicable' mean..?"

"It's eagle before snake except after feather."

"It's just force of habit. When I say 'cavemen' I of course mean 'cavepersons'."

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

'And is this young lady your fiasco, Mr. Jones?'

Werewolves of London, Ontario

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'

'The ocker dared to call her bortz a jargoon.'

'He knows a few words, but he can't really process them yet.'

More animal grammar. Fetch! Dingo. Dingoing. Dingone.

'Returning from the klong he bruited the anableps.'

Computer Speak: 'Beware!...There is no such thing as a 'free launch'.'

At the end of the day everything on the table is low-hanging fruit.