Refund Strategists Pillows

File, Henry, before the mob arrives.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

If this carries on we're going to lose all our tax losses.

"You know what I hate about getting older? I don't have the reflexes to dodge taxes like I used to."

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

'A tax audit? I out sourced my books, records and book keeping to India months ago.'

'Keep a lid on it!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

'Someday, son, this will all be yours...to give to the IRS, thanks to the back taxes I owe.'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

'Wasn't that the Chancellor?'

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'Look at it this way, if you didn't have to pay all that money in tax, you'd go out and spend it anyway.'

"Brilliant idea of yours,darling-only inviting no-sweet tooths!"

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

'What would be the point to be super-rich if we're super-taxed?'

Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip.

You hid your money offshore to avoid taxes? Not just that … Years ago, after exhaustive research, I concluded that our entire socio-economic apparatus would collapse in an orgy of chaos and food-rioting, due to the unsustainable burden of our welfare culture. I started squirreling away my profits, as soon as that communist got elected president. Biden is not a communist. I was talking about Reagan.

"With the new tax code, I have until 2025 to become a one-percenter."

Seven Economic Plans to Save Everybody. . . 'Any questions?'

'It's pure psychology - as soon as I've finished my sermon on coverting wives and wordly goods. Get the collection plates round'.

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

'The object is to make money, not pay claims! Don't make me tell you again!'

'Giving back to the community is an excellent tax write-off strategy.'

"My tax refunds are great! I write off the mileage, report all of the presents as charitable donations and use undocumented elves for labor."