Fiscal Strategist Pillows

Seven Economic Plans to Save Everybody. . . 'Any questions?'

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

"I just..."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'The recession is over, again.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'Are we broke yet?'

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"It's going to require a great deal of money."

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'The market shifted on me.'

'Looks like we'll have to break into the piggy bank to find our endowment funding.'

"Unfortunately the first thing they cut was the stationery budget..."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"Let's use the dog's prescription. His refills are cheaper."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

Davos.

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

Reverse Mortgage.