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Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

An Archeologic Dig

The commentators want to run the officials...

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"Can we discuss this?"

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

'Here comes Ted.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

BEER BELLY