Red Meat Enthusiast Pillows

'It's a fact, eating red meat will shorten our lives.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'Steak Ted?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"Rump roast?"

Important Food Groups

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

6,000 BC: Neolithic Barbecue

Butcher's shop has 'Cuts of salami' sign: End, Middle, Other End.

Cow of BEEF

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I'll see your Sirloin and raise you a New York Strip."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

Platter confusion.

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

'Nice barbecue, Normy!!'

Family Butcher.

"I assume you're on the paleo diet."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

I don

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

"Oooh... bacon!"

"Hmmm... what would Scooby Doo?"

*=Hotdog

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'