Red Card Dodger Pillows

Football - How's my Diving?

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

'Yes, it is last year's hunting license, but I'm only hunting the ones I missed last year.'

'Don't read the Book of Revelations yet -- it's full of spoilers.'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"Arithmetic doesn't agree with me."

'Young lady, you're not going anywhere until you clean your lint trap!'

Modern Football

"Let's go back to the scenario in which none of this is my fault."

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

"Well, I don't like doing paperwork at the business. I'd rather be watching a ball game. But we all have to do things that we don't want to do! That's part of life."

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

Not my fault! Not my department! Not my problem! Not my job!

'I am willing to fail... as long as it's not my fault.'

You are here... ...Run!!!

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

"Yoo-hoo! My husband gets the senior-citizen discount! Yoo-hoo, Officer, yoo-hoo!"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

Cycling Deaths

Why you must get up.