Recycle Revitalizer Pillows

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'Who said romance is dead? I just downloaded a screensaver with red roses and chocolates for your PC!'

Office Park

New life (organ donation)

Recycling centre

"We can be old-timey office workers for Halloween."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

No one drinks from fountains anymore. Thanks to bottled water, they've been replaced. By bottled water fountains.

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Two years ago, during a special episode of the Ask Sadie show, our resident octogenarian asked readers for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Here is an actual reader letter: Dear Sadie, My son just taught me how to use an iPad, so I am writing to tell you that doing so makes me feel young again. You might want to try it. - Nathaniel from Ontario. Thank you for helping me feel young! I may not be as spry as I was back in the old days ... but at least I've never taken two whol

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

'The plan is to market our original product as a new product...'

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

'We need to twerk.'

"Normally I wouldn't take any notice of all these ads on how to improve my performance in the bedroom..."

Planning Office - Acquired by Tesco

"I have to admit, I've never seen anyone list 'cleaning out my desk' as a job skill."

"The Sunday New York Times — Shredded edition"

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

Veggie Princess

"Actually those missing four yeas I was working here under a different name."

Despite the fame and fortune, Shania never forgot her roots.

'Did you know that the English have 56 different words for rubbish?'

I can rise from the ashes like a phoenix only so many times!

Resume Consultant. I can polish up your resume, but I won't be able to pound all the dents.

Agatha tried desperately to spice up her marriage. 'And where, ma'am, would you like that tattoo?'

We really need to put the mystery back into this relationship... why don't you disappear?

'When was the last time you had a tune up?'

Recycled Thoughts.

'Maybe we could do something INTERACTIVE tonight?'

"I've read so much about your work in magazines that our neighbor leaves in the trash room for recycling."