Recovering From An Audit Prints

IRS, 'You're not really a bad person, so we'll just confiscate everything you own and let you off with a warning.'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

Barbeque Casualty.

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Danger Slow Sand.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

IRS Audit Section

"I'm afraid that following the audit, Mr. Davis is no longer with us... On the bright side, the corner office is now available!"

'You lost your home and farm. Do you want to talk about it?

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

"You call all this a side effect?"

"There were some squiggly bits left over after the operation, so we gave you a doggie bag."

Big slipper.

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'This is your lucky day!'

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

'Well, well. You made more money last year than you did the year before -- You people never learn, do you?'

'We've gone through your books and we demand payment in cash.'

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

'There's been unexpected complications involving your husband's bill.'

Patient after an appendix operation

"Hip Op? I thought you meant we were going to a hip-hop dance. . ."