Recovering From A Medical Exam T-Shirts

"Regrettably these results indicate you won't require an operation."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Be Healthy

Social distancing

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

"Let's consider an early dive."

Cardiac Recovery.

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

I should probably get out more.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'