Recovering From A Medical Exam T-Shirts

"Regrettably these results indicate you won't require an operation."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

"I'm afraid we'll have to operate. Your appendix has an infection and it's extremely aggressive."

Be Healthy

Social distancing

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Let's consider an early dive."

Cardiac Recovery.

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

"May we live in interesting times. And may we outlive them."

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

I should probably get out more.

"I'll tell ya what we don't need is some Dr. Durango helping us with a dang snake bite."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

If these are your medications, what happened to the beads I bought?

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

'I'd like a second opinion, doctor.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

Saline Drip Sommelier.

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!