Recovering From An Operation T-Shirts

'Now that my wife has had laser eye surgery, she's insisting we move to someplace with a better view.'

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

The operation was going extremely well, but then very unexpectedly, he got trampled.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

"Picasso: Post cataract surgery."

En garde!

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Despite his laser eye surgery, he still doesn't see the mess he leaves in the living room every day.'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

EAR, NOSE AND THROAT CLINIC: "You want me to drive?"

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'Henry had a successful animal organ transplant - isn't that right, Henry?'

"I just can't get over how well you look!"

"The colonoscopy isn't your eternal punishment...the prep is."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

The incomplete Angler