Recovering From A Break-up T-Shirts

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Large Emoticon Collider

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

A man sews broken hearts back together.

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"You've got to learn to let go."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

A woman buries her broken heart

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"I think we should each try other beers."

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

"This is Miss Jones, Doctor - I want you to cheer her up. She's been through hell recently."

Boyfriend Shirt.

"I need a hug."

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"You came back!"

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

'Right now I'm on a 'man diet'. No more boyfriends until I lose twenty pounds.'

"Recently separated."

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

Carol sensed some negative vibes from her date when he pulled out a laptop and began perusing other women's profiles.

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"

"I'm a dish, not a bowl. This was never going to work."