Getting Over A Breakup T-Shirts

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

'For some reason I think men find me intimidating...'

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Large Emoticon Collider

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I always spend New Year's surrounded by loved ones."

"No, I don't still think about him - I'm with YOU now."

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 in the evening should cure your broken heart,,,'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"I'm sorry, Brad, but I'm saving eye-contact for that special someone."

"You've got to learn to let go."

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

"I think we should each try other beers."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"In this YouTube tutorial, I'm going to show you how to be alone with yourself."

A woman buries her broken heart

"Honestly, I'm not sure I even know who every one of you are anymore."

'Well, if you really want to know...you will meet a short, pale and ugly man...'

Boyfriend Shirt.

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

'Right now I'm on a 'man diet'. No more boyfriends until I lose twenty pounds.'

Sleep Clinic. ZZZZZZ. We can tell a lot about somebody's sleep by the sounds they make. This subject is experiencing normal, restful sleep. YYYYYY. He's having fitful sleep because his girlfriend dumped him. MMMMMM. It looks a lot like he's having a dream about a delicious meal. BBBBBB. This gardener is having a nightmare about disturbing a hive. And what's happening here? I think he's look forward to "talk like a pirate day"! RRRRRR.

"I need a hug."

"You came back!"

"I'm a dish, not a bowl. This was never going to work."

'Then, just when I lost twenty pounds and was voted tops in my gym class he ran off with the fatso next door!'

"You lying fink! Your dating profile specifically stated you were a non smoker!!"

'I thought I was really stuck on Richard, but it turned out it was just static cling.'

"Oh, god. . . not another night at home watching Ingmar Bergman films!"