Recording Shows T-Shirts

"If only we could stay home and TiVo the Carlsons."

'Is that true? - Did you tape over her soap opera?'

'Nothing beats seeing your favourite band play live.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Succession 2

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'Hey Mister Petrie, what's the world's record for tennis balls in a retriever's mouth?'

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Must-See Lockdown TV.

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Gramaphone Man.

'You see son, it's jobs like these that give us a bad name...'

"Well I think the Real question is..."

A singing microphone.

'We've got a 50 inch hd lcd 3d t.v with 200 channels and there's nothing on.'

"In lieu of barking, he recorded a sweet diss track about you."

Franz Kafka does stand-up...

What's your question for "Ask Sadie"? What's with that senseless riot in Baltimore? What do you mean? America has a long history of self-destructive riots in response to police brutality. It's senseless to call it senseless. A city is like a human body. If you feed a body an awful diet of abuse and unaccountable cops, that body's eventually going to have a massive coronary. In short: Learn your history! And eat oatmeal! Oat ... What? What are you talking about?

Today on the Ask Sadie Show, we'll be addressing one single topic: Wondering. In my day, when a body said I wonder why dust bunnies are called dust bunnies, it led to all sorts of delightful speculation. We could while away hours debating whether it was a marketing ploy by big broom ... or whether it dated back to Napoleon, who had a fetish for dirty rabbits. And if we were lucky, opinions could get so heated that fisticuffs would ensue. Wondering is just one of many lovely human experiences utt

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

Pantomime dame: 'Has anyone seen my successful TV and film career?' Audience: 'It's behind you!'

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

"What the hell's going on here ... ?"

The Finding Yourself Hour.

Recording Studio

Sammy Davis Jnr.

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

Ask Sadie is back. You're on, caller. What's your problem? My wife finally answered my emails. She wants me back. She says she's sorry she left me for her personal trainer. She said making mad, passionate love to him has become unfulfilling. She said she's tired of the excitement, tired of his fancy house, tired of the lavish trips around the world, and tired of him not snoring like a jackhammer, like I always do. Let go and move on, you ninny!!! She said she's especially tired of his ability to