Recognition At Work Pillows

"Actually, Harper, we don't see you as a partner. You've been cast in more of character role."

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Loyalty Award

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

Employee of the Month

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

"I have a very demanding job. The boss is always demanding I work late."

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

Penguin of the Month.

Employee of the month...

'Ben, we need a fresh perspective. We'd like you to keynote this year's management conference.'

A poster next to a busy beehive shows a photo of a bee under the words "Employee of the week".

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'I've reviewed your performance, Henderson - and I think it's time we tossed you a bone.'

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

Proof you've made it Loud Annoying The voices raised against you

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

'Boss, about your newfound determination to focus on employee recognition...'

'...and I share my prize with the maintenance dept. who have worked tirelessly to keep the clean room perfectly immaculate.'

"Those are not buzz words."

"One of you I like. The other one, not so much."

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."