Job Recognition Pillows

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

'It hasn't gone unnoticed by management how much extra time you've been spending in the office...so here's a bill to repay the electricity you've used.'

Employee of the Month - male.

"Apparently you've come to somebody's attention."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

Loyalty Award

'I think it has reached critical mass.'

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

Computer Mouse gets Torn Off.

Penguin of the Month.

"I have a very demanding job. The boss is always demanding I work late."

Employee of the month...

"I see you've come a long way, Perkins."

'Ben, we need a fresh perspective. We'd like you to keynote this year's management conference.'

'I've reviewed your performance, Henderson - and I think it's time we tossed you a bone.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

A poster next to a busy beehive shows a photo of a bee under the words "Employee of the week".

We like to show the endowment to newly tenured professors.

"Miss Winthrop, tell my callers that I'm busy with the World Bank."

"One of you I like. The other one, not so much."

"Those are not buzz words."

'...and I share my prize with the maintenance dept. who have worked tirelessly to keep the clean room perfectly immaculate.'

'Boss, about your newfound determination to focus on employee recognition...'

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

"Miss Gillian, can you take Mr. Robert's 'Employee of the Month' photo off the wall? And his paychecks will be coming to me for the next several months."

"There's such a thing as being TOO conscientious, Miller!"

"Yes we need it back. The team fired you, not Sharky."