Recluse Humor Gifts

"Anyone home?"

An unadulterated look into the life of a brown recluse.

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Football player has head instead of ball.

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"That's it sorted then - this year we'll spend a fortnight in the spare bedroom."

'I hear he's quite a recluse - doesn't even have a blog.'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

"He spends 24/7 behind that computer of his. I guess he lives in a fishbowl, too."

'Damn early birds.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

"I'm kind of a big deal in antisocial media."

Elderly Tarzan...

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

"Harold, do I smell too Crabtree & Evelynish?"

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

"Thank God! Show me the path down. I've been stuck here 15 years."

I wish I could experience a normal, social interaction...

"Hey everybody! Cruz finally got his first friend request!"

Riding with your jacket open in summer is an ideal way to collect wasps,

'Society of hermits'

"He's laid up with a bad case of inertia."

"Its getting so bad that I never leave home anymore."

"Social networking lets me be social without actually having to be around other people."

"He lives in a little world of his own."

'You'll have to excuse Gerald. He's not so much the party animal these days.'

The hermit has relocated...

This programme contains material that may offend people who haven't got out for the last twenty years.