Recluse Appreciator T-Shirts

"I don't suppose social distancing makes much difference to you Ron. People have been avoiding you like the plague for years!"

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

Final words on gravestones.

I Pagliacci

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

William Hague as a punk.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

'You know, I'm appreciating having long arms more and more as I get older,,,'

'That's not funny, Fred.'

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

"I just love your use of lying"

"Meet JD Salinger's neighbors"

'I need a small, temporary tax hike - I found a great investment opportunity in Nigeria.'

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

Flinging Poo.

"I'm just getting around to sowing my wild oats."

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

"It gets a tad crowded in winter when I share the cave with 100s of hibernating snakes."

"Please don't feel it necessary to make conversation."

"Have you got it in beige?"

"You can just leave it on that crag, thanks."

'Monkey with banana.'

'No, sir, we don't have a big noise. We have a chief librarian.'

'But mom, age 10 is the new 15.'

"...and this is my better half...!"

"Thank God! Show me the path down. I've been stuck here 15 years."

"What clown has blocked the entrance outside."

"Hey everybody! Cruz finally got his first friend request!"

"Entertaining that lot all day and what's in it for us - peanuts!"

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."