Recipe Renovators Gifts

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

Culinary surgery.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

'I've heard of cooking the books... but how did you rotisserie them and why?'

'It's lovely. Have you actually built a flat-pack kitchen before?'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

Painting and decorating

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

Kitchen Made

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"If Labor Day is supposed to be a day off for workers to spend time with their families...I think Tia Carmen needs a day off from Labor Day."

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

'Thanksgiving dinner will be ready some time in February.'

Five seconds before the first turducken.

'Someone added chocolate chips to all my recipe files. Do you know anything about that?'

"Come on, let me see the picture."

'My marriage is at the stage where we may re-model the kitchen - again!'

'Help! I've painted myself into the fireplace...'

'Can't you workmen use the canteen for your tea break ?'

Ducttape Man! I'll mend your broken heart!

"Peanut butter and jelly...simple...delicious... why didn't I think of that?"

'I'll never be able to cook like TV chefs, goodbye.'