Recipe Exchanger Pillows

Lady of the Cake.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Cookbooks

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

The Inexperienced Cook

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"First you make a roux."

The Tobin Tax.

"You know, we've given this same bottle back and forth to each other for so long that it's probably pretty good by now."

The Criminally Insane Gourmet.

"We need to put in more bones."

"And it was at the moment I realized that the only thing holding me back from culinary excellence was a bucket-load of butter."

'I've been watching so many cookery shows I haven't had time to make your dinner.'

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

"When are you going to make the sort of bread my mother makes?"

Chef

"Too much salt?! Hey, I put a lot of sweat and tears into making that Christmas Pudding!"

"We make all our cupcakes with love, which is way cheaper than real vanilla."

Kitchen Consultations

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"Tried a new recipe: Blackberry stew!"

'Then fold in two egg whites, lightly beaten...'

"Come on, let me see the picture."