Recession Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"The doctor accepts cash or check, but considering the economy, he prefers your gold fillings."

Recession tips : think positively, remember the sky is not falling.

"Thanks to the state of the economy, business has never been better."

"Marvin is in the group who has given up trying to find work...and that was before the recession!"

"The fish - will it be the market price at the time of ordering, the time of eating or the time of paying?"

"No, it hasn't, but when the sky does fall your investments are going to do very, very, well.''

I think I can explain what happened to your investment, with the use of this simple chart.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

'Today a ray of hope . . .'

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

Inflating assets to get a loan. Too poor to pay taxes

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'He's known for his pessimistic prognostications on the stock market.'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'Until this economy thing straightens out, you'll be working out of your car.'

Red Ink: "Busy as a bee, Ted, given the niche we've cut out for ourselves."

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

'You know, you're a real piece of work, Al.'

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

Leprechaun finds EU bail out at the end of a rainbow.

'In this economy, I don't say anything without first saying, in this economy...'

'Our shares are so low, they're all ended up in the Isles of Wight.'

"It's even worse than I thought!"

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'

Ice cube selling penguin out of business.

'He said it could be about 45 minutes, due to the global economic slowdown.'

"I run an unintentionally nonprofit organization."

"What should you do? Here's what you should do: invent a time machine, go back sixteen months, and convert everything to cash."

"Is that a fixed-rate scowl or is it adjustable to the current interest rate?"

'Since I lost my shirt on the stock market, I now only accept strong currency or gold bullion.'

'Sales of new homes are plummeting. I suggest we build old homes.'

Vulture sitting on company profits graph.