Rebellious Fashionista Pillows

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Middle-Age Superheroes

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'What are the other nonconformists wearing this year?'

"By 'dress down day', most of us mean not wearing a jacket!"

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

Rock and Roll

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

'More hair than brains.'

'...And this one comes with a magnifying glass so she can show it off to her friends.'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

Man burning his tie.

Punkins

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"It makes a statement, but it begs a question."

'Good luck with the presentation dear and I still think it would be better without the hat!'

"Wow, you look sexy today."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

How Fashion Works - 'You obviously haven't heard - the adults are wearing them narrow now,'

"I'm outside the fancy dress shop...."

"Fashion Week"

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

'Casual Friday's never caught on in this department.'

Vacancies in Customer Care - Up Yours

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'Does anyone have a question?'

"...and if we need someone with an earrings, I'll be in touch."

Personnel Manager to applicant: 'Your resume and references are excellent, but your hair is too silly.'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Nice. Got this in camo?"

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.