Realty Fanfic Writer Pillows

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

Mouse real estate!

An exaggeration of estate agents

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'Is the fire included?'

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Coming Soon- Trump Circle

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

The Da Vinci Code Bookstore.

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'When you described it as a remote house in the country...'

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

"It's fine - you know, it's a moon."

"The owners have switched from low-flow to 'no-flow' faucets!"

'That house is a fixer upper. Are you handy with a checkbook?'