Realty Fanfic Writer Mugs

'We've talked it over and we've decided we'd like to make an offer.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

Mouse real estate!

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

An exaggeration of estate agents

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

'Is the fire included?'

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Coming Soon- Trump Circle

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

This is our proposal for your new housing development. We've chosen to call it The Meadows.

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

The Da Vinci Code Bookstore.

'When you described it as a remote house in the country...'

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

"Is it right on the lagoon?"

'Forgive me if I'm wrong,sir but you DID ask for a boozer next door!'

"It's fine - you know, it's a moon."

"Ah yes, 'The Three Little Pigs', a cautionary tale of insufficient real estate market analysis."

'That house is a fixer upper. Are you handy with a checkbook?'