Reality Of Midlife Explorers Pillows

"Although 60 is the new 40, for some people 40 is the new 60."

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

Speedo Limit: 21 Years

"What would you suggest to fill the dark, empty spaces in my soul?"

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

'Hi, I'm middle-age and I'll be hanging around a while.'

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

'After the age of fifty the 'c' word always means colonoscopy.'

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

"The one day we decided 'To hell with hair!' "

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

'I appreciate the fact that your husband likes my bike, but can you tell him to quit drooling all over it?'

Lawrence of Suburbia

'Don't know what's wrong with it. Just doesn't seem to attract women anymore.'

"Still getting those hot flashes, Margaret?"

A Classicist Considers Taking Up The Mambo

"It's official, Michael has filed for moral bankruptcy."

"I used to be innocent. Then I was naive. Now I'm just dumb."

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'In denial and loving it!'

"I signed up for 'Dressage Without the Horse.'"