Reality Grappler Pillows

"Marriage and water, I find, don't mix."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

'Get the net ready, Alice. I think it's a big one.'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"God works in mysterious ways."

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

Bad times to sneeze

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

Holding the moral high ground

How's the writer's block?

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'

'Didn't some smart guy say, 'Ignorance is bliss?''

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."

'... blast off!... Uh-oh. Houston, we have a problem.'

'We've met our goal for the year...we're still alive!'

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