Real-life Action Hero T-Shirts

"Ok, and now my feature presentation, please put on your 3D glasses."

Overjumpers

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Mayhem, Inc. Part 23

"Hugh fans!"

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Say one Our Father Attenborough and three Hail Gretas."

Sylvester Stallone

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

Marine-LAPD Ridealongs

"I'm a working mom."

Person made from 100% recycled materials.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

"And now the award for..."

'I can't party like I used to. I've got enough Tupperware.'

Quentin Tarantino

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

The Molsons. A stunt family.

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

Stuntmen Directions

Spiderman at the Improv

'002' - A discussion about 007.

"The big screen really brings out the violence."

"So I hear you did your own stunts in this movie."

Nancy Wake -French resistance fighter WW11