Real Estate Rebel Gifts

'Look out! The landlord's arrived for his yearly tip.'

'As you haven't left the house in weeks, I'm having you arrested.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

"Well, it's unanimous. Instead of going out of business quietly, with dignity and grace, we've decided to end things killer asteroid-style, taking as many of our competitors with us as possible!"

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

DIY enthusiasts find a time portal behind their old wallpaper

Pirates at the mall.

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

"See, Honey, I told you that TV would fit in this room!"

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

Smoke and Mirrors: Harold couldn't work out why his new store wasn't getting any customers.

"I propose a break from the office speak and two minutes of random profanity."

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

Upload Filter

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

Rogue Traders from Parallel Universes.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Sleeping on the Job

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

Wait! It might be cheaper to just knock it down and build from scratch.

Net Neutrality

Lady convincing her husband to have wallpaper instead of plaster.

'Oops! Looks like I've broken every rule in the book.'

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

Hey, Ernie, you're trying on costumes for the Halloween party! No, I'm finding clothes for my job at the store. I need to fit in the Christmas Decorations there. They've been up for weeks. It's too soon! I don't like decorations going up so early! Cupid's another way I could dress for work. The Valentine's Day decorations are going up right now!

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."