Real Estate Observer Pillows

"One morning Mr Small woke up to find the bank had carried out their threat to repossess his house..."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"The end of my favorite series is near."

"Son, one day two hundred square feet of this city could be yours to rent."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

Domestic Spying Drones

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

The world of surveillance.

You Know You're Old When...

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

Dog Realtor

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

See the house whose property taxes were raised

'Can I assume from the rent that this place comes with its own butler?'

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

"This room is always bathed in the most beautiful sunlight. Except at night of course."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'With so many children, I can't afford to live in a choo anymore.'

'That must be the termite inspector.'

Show house. 'I don't like the house. but your champagne's great.'

Estate Agents.