Real Estate Junkie Pillows

'Dog kennels do not need planning permission.'

'New in town, hey? Let me show you a great condo tower.'

Gerald and I are living in a converted pig-sty... It was a fabulous house - now it's a pig-sty.

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"And this is a $20,000 ‘meditation room’ — can you believe it?!!"

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

The stages of gentrification: a guide

Travellers with a developer: 'I see ski slopes.'

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

'I just love this new reality show, TRADING BANK ACCOUNTS!'

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

"Look, son, real estate."

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

nstead of looking at fish bowl, a kid watches the fish on TV as they are being video taped.

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

"May I recommend THIS property? It's ideal for first-time haunters..."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Maybe getting gordon ramsay to do the after dinner speech wasn't such a good idea after all!'

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'