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'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

LAY ZEE FUK

Counting ribs

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Domestic Goddess.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

'Like death by salad.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Horn of Leftovers

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

A man and baby wearing bibs

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Fridge-to-table"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

'Your mother spent a lot of time on this meal, so wag your tail even if you don't like it.'