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'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

Counting ribs

LAY ZEE FUK

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Domestic Goddess.

Chez Nous Menu

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'Like death by salad.'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Horn of Leftovers

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

A man and baby wearing bibs

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

"Fridge-to-table"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"Mmm, processed food. Just like mom used to microwave."

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"