Reading The Bible Prints

'I didn't realize You were going to micromanage.'

Moses on a park bench

Jesus always enjoyed a day on the water fishing.

Jesus breaks the bread.

Elisha floats the keys to the borrowed car, after the disciple dropped them in the water.

Moses on the web

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Yes, all at once!'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

TSA Noah

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Little Known Moments In History

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Adam and Eve toast next to a serpent bartender.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hurry! Let's go! The world will be better off without his kind."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Caption Contest TK

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"Believe me it's only an apple."