Reading Scripture Prints

"Well no, Ed. Jonah's fish probably wasn't as big as the one you caught in the state fishing tournament."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I have an app for that."

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."

Jesus breaks the bread.

Noah posted his first tweet.

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

Promised Land Signpost

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

Jesus wept

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

'Is there any way we could ease into these GRADUALLY?'

'But everybody does that stuff!'

"You remember us....from your garden."

"A plague of frogs? Awesome!"

"Can you start the rain now? I just got hit with the luxury tax for this boat."

Noah chest.

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."

"We've been floating aimlessly for months!"