Reading Palms T-Shirts

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

Pie Filling Reader

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Paw readings

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

YOU HAVE A VERY LARGE GENIUS GRANT LINE.

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

Ill next Thursday

Man sees 'Palm Readings and Stock Projections' business window

"Gas, is it the future?"

Amateur Palmist

"I see you naked. A beautiful young woman is leaning over you... Oh, hang on. She's performing your autopsy."

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

Closed for the Foreseeable Future

"Out today due to foreseen circumstances."

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

'Stranger?.. No, it's definitely a tall, dark strangler.'

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

Palm Reader reading 'Laura' heart tattoo on palm 'You're in love with a girl named Laura!'

'You will go 3 for 5 tomorrow.'

'Someone must have stolen your identity. Your fingerprints are missing.'

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

"Oh dear, my dear. I'm afraid the tall dark stranger works at a nonprofit."

'I see you're not wearing clean underpants.'

'That line means good managerial skills!'

Palm Reader...