Reading Mysteries T-Shirts

'The hair-raising twists and turns, the mystery, numbing assault on the mind...THAT'S why I love tax law!'

"Did he have any known enemies?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

"That's for me to know and for you to beat out of me."

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

'A piece of skin from the killer's arm, by jove. Let's go back to the lab, clone it, and identify the murderer when he grows up.'

Sherlock Holmes investigating a washing machine.

"That's him..all right, only taller, younger, and thinner!"

'Any thoughts on cause of death guv?'

"Two coffees Miss Jones, one with sodium pentathol."

Desert Island Murder

Detective follows footprints leading to a pair of shoes.

'I'm sure it was number 3 because he was pretty tall.'

"He'll crack. We're using the good cop, ambiguous cop, perplexed coop, detached cop, forgetful cop, bad cop scenario."

Detective.

Hercule Parrot

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"According to this, he's not telling us everything he knows, Inspector."

Practicing for the lie detector test...'I have only $800 in the bank. I was never in Chicago. I know nothing about the dog food business.'

'Sure, it's a lot of work being a double agent, but you get TWO retirement plans!'

"Shot between the eyes, but just before he died he spelled out the name of the killer with his soup."

Smoking detective.

You can pick your friends, but not out of a lineup.

Private Investigation

"No, Barry, I want you to want to help bury the evidence."

'Oooh! How thrilling! A murder mystery!

"He's somewhat risk-averse, so you might have a hard time getting him onto a pier."

"Whodunit?"

'The police report says they found the robber's finger prints all over the housekeeper.'

Bank robbery

Inspector Morse on the case

"I've run out of invisible ink..."

'Just as I thought Sargeant, all the hallmarks of another starter pistol shooting.'

"I'm curious. Who did murder me?"

'He still won't confess to being a pickpocket. And now my wallet, watch, badge and belt are missing.'