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I Litigate Therefore I Am.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

I love Lawyers

"Now that's a win."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

Roe v. Wade

Truth

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

Planet of the Lawyers

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

"We make crime pay."

'First, I'd like to list the mitigating circumstances.'

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

'Your proposal is written with clarity and conviction. Send it up to legal for obfuscation.'

The Devil's in the detail!

Yawning barristers in court

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

'I'd like to go back to law school and pay attention this time.'