Reading Humorous Content T-Shirts

'He hasn't done anything yet, but keep an eye on him.'

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."

"Why don't you ever put your hand on my knee?"

Bored mid 40's housewife looking for afternoon fun...

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

Examination.

Apricots

A man and his dog both reading.

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

Mister Oedipus.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

Book

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"I suggest you get more iron in your system and get the lead out."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

"Do you even care about evil anymore?"